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Jared Goff Is Better Than Tom Brady And Here’s Why



Some people say that Tom Brady is the G.O.A.T. and those same people are the ones that say Michael Jordan is the G.O.A.T. when everyone knows it’s Lebron. Different Sports have different G.O.A.T.s. Baseball has Aaron Judge. Basketball has LeBron James, and football has Aaron Rodgers.

Every time I bring up this conversation, I hear “bUt BrAdY hAs 5 RiNgS.” You know what else has 5 rings? Gisele. She has rings like a tree and she looks 50. Seriously, people say Gisele is hot. Those are the same people that apparently have never seen an actual beautiful model. But let’s not get into that right now. Let’s show why Jared Goff is actually better than Tom Brady.


Jared Goff was a 1st round draft Pick.

Tom Brady was a 6th round draft pick and pick number 199.  Point goes to Goff.


Jared Goff has never lost a SuperBowl (#FACTS)

Tom Brady has lost twice.  One is to that mouth breather Eli Manning, and the other was to Nick Foles who, before last season, couldn’t find his way out of a jock strap.


Jared Goff plays in Los Angeles. (Which by the way the city smells like piss, but it’s still a great city).

Tom Brady plays for the New England Patriots. New England isn’t even a city, what is that?

For those of you counting (only Goff fans) because we know “New Englanders” can’t count, that’s Goff 3, Tommy Boy 0.


Jared Goff lead the Rams to a win over the Detroit Lions 30-16.

Tom Brady lead the Patriots to a stomping, 26-10. In case you didn’t know, the Lions went 6-10.


Jared Goff has never cheated on anything in his life.

Tom Brady left his pregnant girlfriend Bridget Moynahan to go on a blind date with the Sarah Jessica Parker of models, Gisele Bundchen. Bridget is 10x hotter than Gisele anyways.


And we’ve finally come to the moment everyone has been waiting for. The real reason Jared Goff > Tom Brady. It’s not all of the 100% facts I just stated above. It’s this smokeshow:


I mean, just look at those….. hoop earrings. They really are just splendid. Christen Harper is Jared Goff’s “secret” girlfriend. Some say he is hiding her so it’s not a distraction, and I wouldn’t blame him one bit. But after he beats Tom Brady and the Patriots in the SuperBowl? All systems go. Want to check out the rest of her pictures? Of course you do, Instagram.

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